The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.

This & That & All of That

Yes, fine, I'll admit it. I've been avoiding posting about myself and been posting other fluff on the blog instead. Hey, it's all funny stuff alright. I just feel so lazaayyyyyyy. Because so much's been happening and I've basically lost track of timelines now. But luckily, Diwali break's here (very desperately needed).

Unfortunately, I'm sick. Again. This is officially the crappiest year in terms of my health so far! This is the third time I've fallen sick now, wth? And it's all super weird stuff. Like right now, I have little red dots everywhere. Everywhere. Including my face. And I feel horrible and look weird and all of that -.- And so I refuse to step out of home, boo!

LIFE, Y U NO EASY?

But life's been good otherwise. Remember how I talked about October being good?
October's my mofo-ing bitch!
So everything's good. Yes :) I'm happy. And not just crazy-laughing-excitedly-because-I'm-hyper-happy but Osho happy too, haha.

Whutt elseeee. CanKids is over, founder's day is over, Diwali mela is over (blinks innocently), all of that.   Somehow, it's kind of evident now that everyone's a little hassled, a little nervous, even borderline panicked. I mean that for 12th graders. Yeah, I am too, a little. Hey, who wouldn't be? I have classmates who spout random stats all the time and tell me crazy stuff! For instance:

Classmate: Hi Akanksha. Did you know that there are only four months left before our boards? That leaves us with exactly one month to prepare for each subject, not counting English, of course. But English is of vital importance too. I would give preference to Math and Accountancy though, these subjects can really make or break you. I have this amazing tutor who guides me and is my beacon of hope in these dark times. I have, obviously, decided to cut my tv subscription and wifi connection, in addition to abstaining from going out, eating, sleeping, or breathing for that matter. So life's good. How's it going with you?

Akanksha: I, uh.. did my math homework.. *stares at feet*

WHAT! What am I supposed to do! I've even started getting those board smses, this one said something on the lines of

God A/c Dr

    To Life A/c

(Being occurrence of death)

BIGGEST FACEPALM MOMENT OF MY ENTIRE ACCOUNTING LIFETIME!

It's kind of funny after a while though :P I've started reading a lot again, but nothing new. I still have a bunch of unread books lying at home and it's a shame, really! This was all my summer reading. It's terrible, but it can't be helped!

I really want to eat jalebi.

Okay that was random. But I really want to! The one that's not too soft or too crisp or too sweet or too hot! (In fact, I really like cold jalebi for some reason) Am I really talking about jalebi? I'm talking about jalebi.

My god, I sound delusional. 

I can't wait for november-december. I know it's weird, but I really like that period before exams. Like, all you have to do is stay at home and study. In a way, it's kind of peaceful, cuz nobody's at home and your mom isn't permanently hovering over you and asking if you're hungry.

Typical conversation starter:

   "You want anything to eat?"

Now here's the deal. This is a trick question. Anything you say will result in you being blackmailed into doing something that was exactly the opposite of what you wanted. 

Answer One:

"No ma, I'm not hungry"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

"But I just made something"

"But I'm not hungry!"

"Fine"

Five minutes later, mom walks in the room and places a plate of food on my bed -.-

Answer Two:

"Yes, I'm hungry"

"What do you want to eat?

"Anything"

"Anything what?"

"Anything!"

"Apple?"

"Ew, no. Something that tastes better"

"Pear?"

"-.-"

"Give me options then!"

"What all is available?"

"Everything!"

"Then give me anything tasty no!"

"Like what?"

"Kuchh bhiii!"

"Like what?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH I'M NOT HUNGRY bye."

     

See what I mean? 

So anyway, I should probably start doing something more constructive now. Medicines make you sleepyyy lahh. Please pray I get better soon and don't fall sick again for a very long time? It's really difficult to feel happy when you're covered in red spots all over for no apparent reason whatsoever. 

Godspeed!

Complete List of Celebrities Eminem Has Dissed In His Songs

Complete List of Celebrities Eminem Has Dissed In His Songs

(Hehehehehe)

A

Aguilera, Christina

Anderson, Pamela

B

Bush, (President) George W.

C

Cannon, Nick

Carey, Mariah

Carradine, David

Cheney, (Vice President) Dick

Clinton, (President) Bill

Combs, Sean “Diddy”

Cyrus, Miley

D

DeGeneres, Ellen

de Rossi, Portia

Dr. Dre

Dupri, Jermaine

E

Everlast

F

Fox, Michael J.

G

H

I

Insane Clown Posse

J

Ja Rule

Jackson, Michael

Jones, Norah

K

Kardashian, Kim

Kirkpatrick, Chris (*NSYNC)

L

Lady Gaga

Limp Bizkit

Lohan, Lindsay

M

Mayer, John

Moby

N

O

Olsen, Ashley

Olsen, Mary-Kate

P

Palin, Sarah

Pet Shop Boys

Presley, Elvis

Q

R

Reeve, Christopher

Rihanna

Roethlisberger, Ben

Ronson, Samantha

S

Scott, Raymond (a.k.a. Benzino)

Simpson, Jessica

Smith, Will

Spears, Britney

T

Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog

U

V

Vanilla Ice

Versace, Gianni

W

Williams, Germaine (a.k.a. Canibus)

X

Y

Z

Why Parents Get Gray Hair - Part 2

Why Parents Get Gray Hair

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the
employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered,
"Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster
the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No".

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home
alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person
who should be there watching over the child.  "Is there anyone there
besides you?", the boss asked the child.

"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked, "May I speak with the policeman"?

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?, asked the boss.

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered
answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is
that noise?"

"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss
asked, "Why are they there"?

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle,
"They're looking for me!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA