realization
(whoaaa! hello. it's been too long since i got all deep)

so i've always thought that i was the kind of a person with individualistic interests. you know, the kind of a person who doesn't think so much about how other people think or wish to will you to behave.
basically, the i-don't-give-a-rat's-ass-about-you-i'll-live-life-my-own-way.
but even then, unknowingly, i get affected by what others say or do and wonder, "should i also be doing so?" and end up feeling a little insignificant.

it could be something as simple as someone telling me about the equation they share in a relationship. and then i think to myself, 'should we also be like that? should i also stick to the stereotype and constantly nag him to quit smoking? act like a total hawk and question his every move with someone other than me? blabbity blah blah?"

then it hit me.
no.
i'm not the like every other girl (girlfriend, if we're sticking to the example)
i believe in freedom and space. i won't force anybody to do or not do something, we should make choices only at our own will. i don't believe in sticking to stereotypes, it's foolish even at the most basic level! we've all be trained to think a certain way because that's how we all behave. so much, that we don't even give a second thought before doing something.

sure, if you want someone to do something, ask them to do so. if they don't listen, so what? why are you so riled up about it? chill. (haha) lead your life, let others do the same. it's difficult, i'll agree. we share such complex and dynamic equations with everybody, it's impossible to not have expectations.
but once you stop expecting, it feels so much lighter inside!
and everything seems so much more exciting, because you've stopped expecting.
everything is a surprise.

so yeaaaahhh i'm the cool dude who believes in letting it be (the beatles never fail you.)

i'll do what'll make me happy, along with the people i care for :)
because that's what matters the most.