There are a few things I'm going to say right now that I'm sure sound batshit crazy and also a bit unexpected. I should also be working on an article right now instead of writing this blog. Boo hoo, deal with it.
1. Long distance is very very very easy until your SO comes back in town, because then you realize how fucking unbelievable it feels to just casually meet him/her every other day. Also, sex. Also, cuddling. Also, dates. Also, hand holding and hair playing. Basically everything. Also he's leaving for Cal again in a week, which is absolutely devastating BECAUSE HELLO I like to play Predict The Bill contest and when he randomly holds my hand when he's driving or he does taktak with my fingers and asdfjhsdjaehfcdwajdsvdsn, bringing us to #2.
2. I might be slightly in love. I thought this was a phase but I haven't been able to shake this feeling off since the past 6 months now (more like 4 years and 1 month but who's counting right? Hah) so I think we can safely say this is not a phase and I'm mostly doomed now.
3. I'm also a little wary of this entire love thing because I'm kind of expecting to get cheated on again, which I KNOWWWWW is horrible and I should absolutely not put myself through this sort of emotional BS. Can't help it. I'm literally waiting to be told, "Oh btw, you've been made an idiot. Again." I like to console myself by telling myself that our kids have a 50% chance of crooked teeth (but crooked teeth are so cute..). Unfortunately, they also have a 100% chance of being incredibly smart with incredible wit and great hair and their eyebrow game will DEFINITELY be on point, so we're back to square one. Also ew, why am I coming up with all these imaginary kids.
4. I'm going to become a type A slut if #3 happens. I'll still be classy as fuck though, and I'll definitely end up updating this blog more often because then I can share my sexual exploits more often and possibly land a book deal and call myself Carrie Bradshaw. (Carrie is defo not a slut btw. She is Goals)
5. I'm totally cringing even thinking this, let alone typing this out, and I know I'll regret this and smack myself on the head in embarrassment and shame 5 years down the line (but let's not tempt fate *does nimboo mirchi*), buuuut I've been toying with the idea of an actual long term commitment with The Boy (I'm talking about the M word). I mean, what the fuck right? I KNOW! I don't even waaaant to get married for the next 7 years but my traitor brain just likes to be all "OH HI AKA COME LET ME SHOW YOU IMAGINARY SCENARIOS OF YOU AND THE BOY RIDING OFF INTO SUBURBAN SUNSETS" and I'm like wtf brain can u plz ctfo and gtfo and stfu.
Oh what the hell. It feels nice to think about it. And I was this utter idiot today by asking him what he thinks about us in the long term and he was like oh yeah I do think about it sometimes, except after that I'm totally sure I freaked the living daylights out of him because he got reaaaally quiet and I was all "ohshitohshitohshit must remove tshirt to distract and change topic and avoid elephant in the room" (I'm not talking about me ok)
So anyway, that's mostly it. Sometimes, I do not understand how I'm 20 years old when my mind is stuck at 12. I think farts are funny, for gods sake.
1. Long distance is very very very easy until your SO comes back in town, because then you realize how fucking unbelievable it feels to just casually meet him/her every other day. Also, sex. Also, cuddling. Also, dates. Also, hand holding and hair playing. Basically everything. Also he's leaving for Cal again in a week, which is absolutely devastating BECAUSE HELLO I like to play Predict The Bill contest and when he randomly holds my hand when he's driving or he does taktak with my fingers and asdfjhsdjaehfcdwajdsvdsn, bringing us to #2.
2. I might be slightly in love. I thought this was a phase but I haven't been able to shake this feeling off since the past 6 months now (more like 4 years and 1 month but who's counting right? Hah) so I think we can safely say this is not a phase and I'm mostly doomed now.
3. I'm also a little wary of this entire love thing because I'm kind of expecting to get cheated on again, which I KNOWWWWW is horrible and I should absolutely not put myself through this sort of emotional BS. Can't help it. I'm literally waiting to be told, "Oh btw, you've been made an idiot. Again." I like to console myself by telling myself that our kids have a 50% chance of crooked teeth (but crooked teeth are so cute..). Unfortunately, they also have a 100% chance of being incredibly smart with incredible wit and great hair and their eyebrow game will DEFINITELY be on point, so we're back to square one. Also ew, why am I coming up with all these imaginary kids.
4. I'm going to become a type A slut if #3 happens. I'll still be classy as fuck though, and I'll definitely end up updating this blog more often because then I can share my sexual exploits more often and possibly land a book deal and call myself Carrie Bradshaw. (Carrie is defo not a slut btw. She is Goals)
5. I'm totally cringing even thinking this, let alone typing this out, and I know I'll regret this and smack myself on the head in embarrassment and shame 5 years down the line (but let's not tempt fate *does nimboo mirchi*), buuuut I've been toying with the idea of an actual long term commitment with The Boy (I'm talking about the M word). I mean, what the fuck right? I KNOW! I don't even waaaant to get married for the next 7 years but my traitor brain just likes to be all "OH HI AKA COME LET ME SHOW YOU IMAGINARY SCENARIOS OF YOU AND THE BOY RIDING OFF INTO SUBURBAN SUNSETS" and I'm like wtf brain can u plz ctfo and gtfo and stfu.
Oh what the hell. It feels nice to think about it. And I was this utter idiot today by asking him what he thinks about us in the long term and he was like oh yeah I do think about it sometimes, except after that I'm totally sure I freaked the living daylights out of him because he got reaaaally quiet and I was all "ohshitohshitohshit must remove tshirt to distract and change topic and avoid elephant in the room" (I'm not talking about me ok)
So anyway, that's mostly it. Sometimes, I do not understand how I'm 20 years old when my mind is stuck at 12. I think farts are funny, for gods sake.
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