May 13, 2012

Something About Goodbyes


There are many things we consider as accomplishments. Each varies from person to person.For my 6 year old brother, it's proudly telling me that adding 200 to 100 gives him a 300. For my best friend, it's living each day without caring what others think. For my parents, it's making through another day without their crazy children getting into trouble of any sort.

As we grow older, our definitions of this big goal we've achieved changes too. When I was in 3rd grade and new in school, my biggest accomplishment was not losing my water bottle in school. 6th grade onwards, accomplishment meant saving your lunch from these eternally hungry classmates. After a while, it became getting into college (Yes, I'd like to think I've come a long way.)

But you see, accomplishments are not always tangible. You can't always see them in front of your eyes, touch them with your bare skin. For somebody in a relationship, you're simply glad that you found someone to love, for a relationship that's going through a rough patch - making through another day. For somebody who's broken up and moving on?

I guess it starts with the other person not being your first thought the moment you open your eyes in the morning. Not going through old texts, emails, voicenotes, pictures. Keeping them away in a seperate folder.
The problem with these achievements is, sometimes all it takes is a familiar laugh, a known place, to take you right back to the start. But slowly, you start forgetting. You forget the jokes, the conversations, the voice that held them. One day, you wake up and listen to "our" song, and it doesn't give you another painful reminder this time.

Eventually, you delete that folder, or put it away in a dusty corner. You stop checking the daily fortune for their sun sign, stop checking their profile everyday. A new person in their life does not flare jealousy in you, you're okay. Talking gets easy again. It feels alright to say goodbye in these new conversations you have with them.

That. That is what I want.

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